Saturday, July 27, 2013

Top 10 'New Rules' (with apologies to Bill Maher) for the Edison Council!

10. No Council Member can vote on an ordinance or resolution in the last year of their term, whether they seek re-election or not. Their votes will be cast by a retired Board of Education member, effective immediately.

9. All new hires can apply for any position in the township without any relevant qualifications or experience, effectively immediately.

8. All introduced council ordinances must be pre-approved by an apolitical person - the EDO Campaign Manager.

7. All Council sub-committees must have at least 1 citizen on it - from Metuchen.

6. Education is a No..No for any position in the township until such time as the Board of Education lets us back in.

5. Any Council Member who abstains on a vote must contribute $1 to Charlie Tomaro's  'I do more than any other Council Member' Abstention Fund.

4. Edison's 'Strong Mayor, Weak Council' form of government will cease to exist as soon as we move the Mayor's office to the basement.

3. All references to the word 'Politics' will be stricken from the EDO's by-laws, effective immediately.

2. All Council Members will now be addressed as Mayoral Members of the Edison Township Council, effective immediately.

1. When describing what happens when abnormal politics becomes the norm in a town, the rest of the state shall cease and desist from laughing and referring to it as 'The Edison Way', effectively immediately.

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